It Saddens And Angers Me To See So Many Suffer In Pain Like Myself

I came across this forum and reading everyones stories it really saddens me. I too am a pain sufferer. I have had multiple failed spinal surgeries, I have herniated discs in my spine and neck, severe spinal stenosis, arthritis in my back, deg. disc disease, nerve damage that goes into my legs/feet/arms/fingers, the list goes on. I to have been on pain meds for many years. I have had to find a new doctor months ago as my old one retired. What a task that was. It was horrific. Im in Jersey and I spent days upon days calling all over NJ trying to find a doc to take over for me. Finally, my pharmacist of all people, recommended doc. I went a few months ago and because of all the stupid restricitions the DEA is putting on drs my intake amount has been cut dramatically. I went from having a functioning life, my pain was down to a 3/4 where it was mangeable, to now living in excruciating pain everyday. Ive also become a pin cushion and get hit with injections monthly which dont do shi***. I was told last month that the scar tissue is to thick and he cant hit the nerves. Hes referred me to another doc which i go to next week, but only to have more procedures done, like some trial subject. I dont get it. I am so outraged and sick to my stomach right now. Im tired of it and noone gets what pain is like unless they are dealing with it. Its not like a toothache or a muscle sprain. Imagine your worst pain and multiply by 30 and thats my life. The DEA needs to keep their heads and butts outta the medical field. And those who use and abuse and sell the stuff, shame on you. Look at what you are putting legitimate patients thru. Its living hell. I couldnt take the pain anymore and called my doc last nite and told him i need to be back on the 30's of roxi, the 20's suck and i have to take one and a half just to get some relief. He wrote script for 30's but only for 2 a day until i get into see him. I go to fill it and BAM they call the doc and im told because I already have the 20's, and that tramadol was prescribed to me in january ( which is dam joke, thats aspirin to me) and he has me on gabapantin, which is crap too, they cant fill the 30's because of the rules by the DEA. Are you for real?? so now i have to sit here in excruciating pain. It burns me up that I have to live like this when there is meds out there to help me. I have never once failed a UA, i do what im suppose to. I dont feel high off the stuff. I get pain relief. What is so dam difficult to understand about that. Would the DEA think about taking away a heart patients meds or any other condition out there that people use to get relief?? I dont think so, I thought going to pain managent is where you are managing your pain. How is my pain being managed if i dont get relief?? The dr talked to the pharmacist and he gave me 3 other meds to help me thru. One of which is used for menstrual cramps, and two others that dont help. So i went from being on 3 meds to now staring at 8 bottles of all different crap. After exploding at the pharmacy i left there crying in tears talking to God to just take me because Im tired of living in pain so bad its ruined my life. Im a single mom as well and my 13 yr old sees his mom in pain everyday. I feel I gave disappointed me kids. And then to come in here and read all the stories of people looking for help, which Id like to think its people truly suffering, it makes me sick that we are not entitiled to the same health care as those who suffer from other conditions. We are watched like hawks and treated like addicts. Im done with it. I have been online looking at the DEA website to see who I can contact to blast them. I have nothing to hide and am sick of how I am being treated. No wonder so many turn to the streets for help. And let me come across those who do not suffer but use to feel high, or sell, or even the arse hole doctors who abuse their license. Id blast them too. They have ruined it for all of us who suffer every day. Good luck to all trying to find a kind, compassionate Dr who gets it. Everything for me was working fine taking meds every 4 hours. Its not my fault my back is screwed up. I didnt ask for this, nor do I enjoy being poked and stuck with needles every month. I can hardly walk now, driving is becoming more difficult as the intense pains going down my legs into my feet are unbareable. My heart truly goes out to all of you who live a life of pain. Something needs to be done to change the situations we all are in. Im a believer in Kharma and I can only hope that one day those that make the ridiculous guidelines suffer so bad they feel like their life is over. All I want is to be able to function and get thru a day with minimal pain, is that to much to ask?? I cant help I need pain pills every 4 hours, Im not high, I dont hurt anyone, I can function just like the person who isnt on pills. Best of luck to all of you. Im sure this site is being monitored by the DEA looking for the docs you all post on here that its so easy to get pills . If you are reading this attorney general I have a message for you: One day you may know what living in pain is like or someone in your family, one day you may need to depend on pain meds to get you thru and live somewhat of a functioning life, and I hope when that day does come, every door is slammed in your face for help, I hope every doc turns their back on you and you get not one pill for relief. I hope you are suffering so badly you want to rip your spine out, ( thats how i feel most days, just wanna stick a crow bar behind my spine and yank it out) Maybe then, and only then, you will wake the heck up and make changes for those who are true patients who suffer in pain. I may not be alive to see that change, but my wish for all those who suffer is to one day have their pain managed to have a functioning life, whatever it takes to get there, so be it. and also attorney general, I hope you are looked down at and judged like a drug addict when you make your appointments for pain.

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I am sure you know this, that stress makes our pain worse. I wish I could give you a ((Hug)) ! I suffer as many here do, but I am trying to accept this treatment. The madder I get, the more I hurt, when I am angry, I tend not to move as slowly as I should and I almost always go into spam's down my left hip and leg.

The fairly new Doc I have, also doesn't seem to listen to me. He has me on a short leash, seeing him every 22 days and I have always done as told, never failed a drug panel. I've even called the Doc office saying I want this documented that I am suffering, I tell them, I'm afraid to change appointment, I fear he will think I am seeking pills, I feel like I am an addict, the way I am treated. I find sometimes, that no one understands me, I see my Husband roll his eyes at me lots. It hurts like hell, and I too, have wished he could feel my pain, just one day, but "YOU" please don't wish ill on others as I did, it gets us nowhere and we suffer more because of our own actions.

I wish you the Best, if you ever need a Friend, I'm 59, (unhappy) Retired Hairdresser, married, one Human Son, wonderful Daughter-In-Law, and 2 perfect Grandchildren. I also raise 3 Wonderful Maltese Puppy Dogs. Find me on {edited for privacy}, Cheers To You ~

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Ty so much! I am soo very sorry you to are suffering. I know stress aggravates the pain more. A doctor I use to see had me on a short leash as well, every 20 days and everytime I went there it was a four hour wait. His secretaries and assistants were clueless half the time. He wanted to put that stimuator in my back and while we waited for approval from ins, he was going to do epidural which also needed approval, I did everything on my end, including seeing a psych doctor. I got blamed each time I went to see him, telling me I am refusing treatment for the shots, I was like, your kidding me right?? I never refused anything, It was his clueless people working for him that werent doing there jobs, He had no manners what so ever, made you feel like an addict and I finally could not take it anymore, He was very u kind, I found the one I am currently seeing, but he onky does the nerve blocks, which dont work and is only allowed to write script for less then half of what I should be taking. I see another pain dr tomorrow that he referred me to. It took me 45 mins just to get thru all the paperwork and as I went thru it i just lost it and couldnt stop cryng, I get so tired of explaining it over and over and being looked at as if im lying, All the paperwork I had to sign for the narcotics part alone sickened me. This doctor apparently can call you whenever and tell you to come in for drug panel, pill counts, etc. Im 48 and tired of being treated this way, I try not to wish bad will on someone, but unless those who are preventing the legit pain patients from getting the meds they need actually live and breathe pain, they will never understand, If you ever need to talk, please reach out to me, It does help to talk to others who are going thru it and understand, Im a single mom as well and my sons deadbeat dad does nothing to help with his own child, so I do struggle even more and you wanna talk about stress, It all adds up. Im on perm. disability also, and so wish I could work and feel like ive accomplished something at the end of the day, but its just not possible, Feel better! and thank you for your kind words.....

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