Was Badly Addicted To Hydrocodone/oxycodone/percocet For 7 Years. Am Now Free Thanks To Buprenorphine(suboxone). (Page 4)

Not real sure why exactly it is that I feel it necessary to post here in this forum. Maybe I'm hoping that someone looking for help will read this and make the same decision myself and my husband did. 7 years ago I was introduced to the joys and wonderous feelings of pain pills. Always working in the restuarant industry as a server/ bartender, the high I got from taking tabs or percs or whatever I could get my hands on led me to believe that I was a better server, better at my job, made more money, could talk to people more openly and be a happier person all around. At first, like the beginning 3 years I would take 1 to 3 lortab 10 mg in one day and be hopping around all over the place till the wee hours of the morning, talking everyone's head off and energized to the max. As the habit grew, it took more and more to get that same feeling. I didn't even realize how addicted I was. When the pills would run out, I would notice not feeling well, tired, flu like almost but just thought I was getting sick. I was entirely stupid to the fact that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It wasn't until about the 5th year of my opiate abuse that I started to understand and research what was happening to me when my stash ran out. It hit me like a bag a bricks that my life was going downhill fast and something had to be done. But I couldn't stop. I still had to work. In a restaurant. I still had to function and without the pills functioning was not a possibility. Then me and my husband got married and decided we wanted a child more than anything in the world. She was the first best decision we ever made. I quit everything the day I found out I was having out little girl. October 12 2009. Surprisingly easy it was too. Pills, cigarettes, pot, everything was out the window and knowing she was inside me, needing me to make sure she was healthy as possible meant I could stop it all and not look back. Until the day she was born of course. Almost 4 hours of pushing does a very painful number on a woman's lady parts and I did not hesitate to call the nurse exactly at every 4 hour mark to bring my pain meds for the whole 2 days we spent in the hospital. Then they send you home with a small script of tabs, like 24. So slowly but surely I was spiraling back down the hole of addiction again. It was still under control until the day after Thanksgiving of 2010. My husband wound up in the hospital for a week after having a major surgery done for a condition called a "spontaneous pneumothorax". basically an air pocket in the lung cavity causing the lung to collapse a small percentage. very invasive and painful surgery though. He was out of work for like 6 weeks and you best believe that every one of those weeks was spent gobbling oxycodone by both of us like there was no tomorrow. It was over after that. no going back to sobriety. We must work now and the demands of a small child are beyond exhausting. In my mind, I could not take care of her without pills. I needed to be supermom. Until one day about 6 weeks ago, we woke up and had hit rock bottome. Because of our very expensive pill habbit, the power was turned off, the water got turned off, the phones/cable/internet was gone and even the tags and insurance on the both our cars were expired. All in one day. What an awakening and excuse my language, but what a piece of s*** I felt like. How could I do this to my now 18 month old little girl who is the light of our life and what we live for. It was not fair to her, and certainly not what I wanted life for the 3 of us to be like. Not to mention I had went back to college last August and was damn near flunking for all the time and energy I wasted texting, calling, and searching out my next fix. I couldn't study, couldnt pay attention in class. Couldn't do anything for this filthy love of pain pills. So on the day of "almost loosing everything" I decided it had to stop. Something had to give or I'd have to give up my little girl and I would rather die than live without her. It took me 2 weeks to get up the nerve to go a place called Recovery concepts about 15 miles from my home. 2 weeks of misery, though because I still had to keep finding our fixes because as we all know as addicts you cannot deal with withdrawal symptoms and still care for children and work. I didn't want the pills anymore but had to take them just to feel normal. So anyway, Recovery Concepts was the 2nd best decision I ever made in my life. The process of talking with counselors and having blood drawn and seeing the doctor all the while being in the first stages of withdrawal was long and I very nearly walked out as people were texting me telling me they had tabs for me to buy. But I could not leave. I kept thinking of my little girl and it was her that made me stay. I had to make life better for her and by God I was going to do it that day. it took about 4 hours of waiting and seeing counselors before I got my first 4mg dose of suboxone. After about 30 min I noticed the cold sweats going away. It wasn't quite enough for me though, as I was up to 100mg plus of lortab per day. At 12 mg of suboxone, I felt perfect. I went home to my husband feeling like a million bucks and exclaiming that going there was the best thing I ever did. He started going the next week and our lives have completely changed for the better since then. He is at 16 mg of suboxone (16.00$/day) and I at 12 mg(14.00$/day), which to some may seem a hefty price, but when you consider we were spending anywhere from 100 to 150/day on tabs or roxy's or percs or whatever, well we are now saving quite a bit of moolah. We go early in the morning to take our dose and we feel great all day! I have the energy I need to go to school and take care of our baby and the house. He feels great enough to work all day and come home and play with the baby and the most important thing is that we are happy doing all these things. I think the suboxone actually has helped me also because I was going into a severe depression still addicted to opiates. I was so upset with myself and life and I just couldn't be happy knowing how stuck we were. Everything has changed for us now, and I am so thankful for the clinic and for my friend that told us about the place. Suboxone gives you another chance at life. At least for me it has. Get off pain pills without withdrawals and long term recovery support for people who have had a long term habit. I just could not have done it alone, even if I had toughed out the withdrawals. My life was centered around finding, buying, eating and loving pain pills and I could not have won the fight of quitting alone. I hope this helps someone out there and if not, well I feel better telling someone my story as no one in my life but my husband knows it. Feel free after reading this to ask any questions. I will be glad to answer as best I can. And i beg you, if you are reading this searching for way out, consider a recovery clinic in your area or doctor that can prescribe you suboxone. it can change your life. thanks for reading.

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Hey @ladyrhinestone, can you explain your withdrawal process more? I'm at about the same dosage and time and going to withdrawal. I suffer from spondylothesis and am sick of this s*** in my life!! Going cold turkey, the only way... :/

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Hi Carrie - REALLY enjoyed reading your post!! I'm hoping you (or anyone else on here) can help me with a question I have regarding Suboxone. First, can you please let me know if you are still taking it or if you have weaned off of it now? I know you're post was from several years ago so before I go into my long question I'd like to know whether or not are still on it. I'm basically trying to find someone who has gotten off of Suboxone and find out how they did it I would greatly appreciate a reply. Thank you in advance!

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Re: Johanna (# 12)

I feel you.
I jumped off 4 mgs of suboxone day 10 was pure hell.
Called Dr he told me to come in.
He appoligized because he said he never told me NOT to ever jump like that.
I seriously wished I was dead.
So I agree, coming off narcotics sucks but not as bad as coming off subs.
I'm back on the subs...
I've learned to try and deal with my pain even on subs but just can't bring myself to jump off subs again even by weaning.
I want off everything but have yet to find anything prescribed or natural or otherwise to get off it.
I so wish a miracle would come along that would take away the horrible withdrawals from getting off subs and NOT be addictive.
Ugh....such an ugly cycle.
My pain sucks no matter how you look at it.
I just do not want to be addicted to anything.
Is there any type of inpatient rehab?
I also have no insurance.
Dr perscibed me subutex because it's $86 compared to like $300-400.
Pharmaceutical companies are evil.
I did the 1 year free coupon already.
Thanks for listening..
I'm going to continue reading.

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