Depression Leading To Divorce?

I was very worried about certain issues related to my work. My husband, who was always suspicious that I was lying, ended up putting undue pressure on me. I had an episode of depression and my husband was initially supportive but suspected that I suffered from a mental disorder beyond repair (although my psychiatrist said otherwise). Subsequently he could not take my behaviour anymore and sent me to my parents place perforce. However, when I came back he refused to stay in the same room with me or eat the food that I made. Subsequently I could not take his cold attitude any longer and fought, which he dutifully recorded without my knowledge. He accused me of not allowing him to sleep at night so that he would go insane. Later I learnt that he had paranoid psychosis. Now after 6yrs of marriage he has abandoned me which has made my depression come back.

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I have been thru the same thing and I think we need medical help because I can't even sleep after 6 years and can't take another relationship. Do you have any tips on how I can manage it?

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I am so very sorry about what you both have been through. Relationships like that are very hard and you both might learn a lot by researching emotional and psychiatric abuse. I've been there, it isn't easy, but you can put yourselves back together, you can learn from this, you can grow and, if you choose, in the future you can both enter into healthy and happy relationships.

After divorcing my ex-husband for very similar reasons, I honestly did not think I would ever enter into a relationship, again, nor would I get married, again. I was quite certain that the man I deserved and could trust didn't exist, so I stayed single for over 6 years. I spent that time putting myself back together, finding me, and my confidence, again... and out of the blue, I started chatting with a man on Facebook that was ending his own miserable marriage. He was living in Ohio, while I was in Washington, he flew out here and we are a natural fit, we both respect and spoil each other. We got married December 30th of 2015.... and yesterday, we had two crazy giggly snowball battles, one of which was at the gas station, while filling our car, so I'm sure many thought we were nuts. LOL

Anyway, the moral of the store is that happiness is possible, it is out there. Find what makes you happy, don't let anyone dictate it for you, or try to tell you what you are 'supposed to' do. Define it for yourself, it is your life, not anyone else's.

Also, there is nothing wrong with getting medical help, if you need it, even if just for a certain period of time, until you get your heads straight, counseling and medications can both help in the interim.

I was married to my ex for 15 years, so walking away was no easy feat, especially since we had a teenage son, but it was necessary for my own sanity and well being.

The NIH has some excellent articles you can read about emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and gas lighting. Many people aren't familiar with the term 'gas lighting', but it is basically when someone tries to convince you that your perceptions are wrong, they claim they didn't do what you saw them do, didn't say what you heard them say, didn't act how you saw them act, or that something didn't happen the way you saw it happen, with the end goal of making you feel like you are going crazy and losing it. The term is derived from a 1938 play, which later became a film in 1944, in which a man married a woman, because he wanted her family money. He started to play with the gas lights in their home, then when she noticed they were flickering or dimmer than usual, he'd claim nothing had changed and it was all in her head. He even mentioned it to friends, neighbors, and relatives, in an effort to have her under his full control, so he could institutionalize her and gain full control of her fortune. It starred Ingrid Bergman and, later, became a psychological term for this type of behavior.

To summarize, these types of people want to make you so dependent on them, that you entirely lose your independence, and can't function on your own. Thus, you are reliant on them for everything. When you start to resist, to fight, and argue, they most commonly toss you aside and move on to a new target that they may have better luck with. At the root of it, they are all basically narcissists.

Contrary to what many think, abuse is not always physical... and no, your response to abuse is not abuse. It is the way any normal, healthy person would respond to such things, though your abuser will often try to make you think you are the one that's being abusive.

So, my best advice is to get the help you need, talk to someone, take a medication, if it's recommended, find you, move on with your life and find your happiness.

If you have any other questions, I will be happy to answer them, if I can, so please post back.

Does anyone else have any ideas or advice to offer?

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