Getting Xanax Out Of My System

My daughter died, my Dr is anti drug, and only prescribes 15 ativan a month for insomnia. My former dr was giving me 2mg xany bars for panic attacks, and major anxiety because of a prolonged illness, and possible impending above the knee amputation. He threw me at least 100 bars a week. I never liked them and only took them for the really bad panic attacks. I have leftover bottles in my safe that I kept for emergencies. I paid good money for them obtained them legally and when I did consider flushing them I was told that you'd contaminate the water by doing so, and that the correct method of disposal was to return them to the pharmacy and that pissed me off. I spent a ton at the pharmacy and now they get them back. I inquired about donating them to a free clinic or hospice and they aren't allowed to redistribute them to people that really need them. So I just stuck six bottles in my safe. My current Dr. Keeps wanting to cut everything off and DC'D my ambien. The ativan doesn't help my insomnia, and when I hadn't slept more than 15 mins in 3 days I broke down and took a few of my old xanax. I really believed I wasn't doing anything wrong. 2 months ago during a random test they found xanax and no ativan. They don't give me even close to a months supply. He asked where I got them, I explained, and he said that is a violation of my pain contract, and that it's not legal??

So I stopped taking them. Until my daughter died unexpectedly and I had to cope, plan a funeral, grieve and try to still function. So in the span of 2 weeks I probably took 20 or 30 bars. I don't know what to do, pray for them not to do a random test, i'd rather be straight with him and just tell him, but I am opiate dependant, an amputee in a wheelchair, overweight with the metabolism corpse. I've never asked for an early refill, I broke 3 ribs went to the ER, and accepted a shot but refused a script for anything but 800mg. motrin. With the way the DEA is cracking down on opiate's for chronic intractable pain or anything other than a terminal illness I am terrified that they will not refill my meds and I will be in full blown withdrawls. I don't know what to do. I've been on opiates since 1997. I am in constant pain, they have already cut back my meds by 75%. I have to pick and choose which day I can get out and function and which days I am rationed down to just taking enough to not get sick. My quality of life decreases every time they take away more meds. I'm on Morphine and oxycodone. A muscle relaxer and ativan. I'm only 57, there are things I want to do and I can't if I am literally shrieking in pain. Does anyone know if there is a code or statute that separates those of us that are actually messed up and need opiate pain mgmt?

REPORT

At least 100 Bars a week by your former doctor? That's 16 or 17 Bars a day, more than 4 times the suggested amount you should take daily!

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Heck I disposed of 1000 Ativan down the toilet in 2010, first offering to bring them to my Xanax doctor

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