Was Badly Addicted To Hydrocodone/oxycodone/percocet For 7 Years. Am Now Free Thanks To Buprenorphine(suboxone).

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karey Says:

Not real sure why exactly it is that I feel it necessary to post here in this forum. Maybe I'm hoping that someone looking for help will read this and make the same decision myself and my husband did. 7 years ago I was introduced to the joys and wonderous feelings of pain pills. Always working in the restuarant industry as a server/ bartender, the high I got from taking tabs or percs or whatever I could get my hands on led me to believe that I was a better server, better at my job, made more money, could talk to people more openly and be a happier person all around. At first, like the beginning 3 years I would take 1 to 3 lortab 10 mg in one day and be hopping around all over the place till the wee hours of the morning, talking everyone's head off and energized to the max. As the habit grew, it took more and more to get that same feeling. I didn't even realize how addicted I was. When the pills would run out, I would notice not feeling well, tired, flu like almost but just thought I was getting sick. I was entirely stupid to the fact that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It wasn't until about the 5th year of my opiate abuse that I started to understand and research what was happening to me when my stash ran out. It hit me like a bag a bricks that my life was going downhill fast and something had to be done. But I couldn't stop. I still had to work. In a restaurant. I still had to function and without the pills functioning was not a possibility. Then me and my husband got married and decided we wanted a child more than anything in the world. She was the first best decision we ever made. I quit everything the day I found out I was having out little girl. October 12 2009. Surprisingly easy it was too. Pills, cigarettes, pot, everything was out the window and knowing she was inside me, needing me to make sure she was healthy as possible meant I could stop it all and not look back. Until the day she was born of course. Almost 4 hours of pushing does a very painful number on a woman's lady parts and I did not hesitate to call the nurse exactly at every 4 hour mark to bring my pain meds for the whole 2 days we spent in the hospital. Then they send you home with a small script of tabs, like 24. So slowly but surely I was spiraling back down the hole of addiction again. It was still under control until the day after Thanksgiving of 2010. My husband wound up in the hospital for a week after having a major surgery done for a condition called a "spontaneous pneumothorax". basically an air pocket in the lung cavity causing the lung to collapse a small percentage. very invasive and painful surgery though. He was out of work for like 6 weeks and you best believe that every one of those weeks was spent gobbling oxycodone by both of us like there was no tomorrow. It was over after that. no going back to sobriety. We must work now and the demands of a small child are beyond exhausting. In my mind, I could not take care of her without pills. I needed to be supermom. Until one day about 6 weeks ago, we woke up and had hit rock bottome. Because of our very expensive pill habbit, the power was turned off, the water got turned off, the phones/cable/internet was gone and even the tags and insurance on the both our cars were expired. All in one day. What an awakening and excuse my language, but what a piece of s*** I felt like. How could I do this to my now 18 month old little girl who is the light of our life and what we live for. It was not fair to her, and certainly not what I wanted life for the 3 of us to be like. Not to mention I had went back to college last August and was damn near flunking for all the time and energy I wasted texting, calling, and searching out my next fix. I couldn't study, couldnt pay attention in class. Couldn't do anything for this filthy love of pain pills. So on the day of "almost loosing everything" I decided it had to stop. Something had to give or I'd have to give up my little girl and I would rather die than live without her. It took me 2 weeks to get up the nerve to go a place called Recovery concepts about 15 miles from my home. 2 weeks of misery, though because I still had to keep finding our fixes because as we all know as addicts you cannot deal with withdrawal symptoms and still care for children and work. I didn't want the pills anymore but had to take them just to feel normal. So anyway, Recovery Concepts was the 2nd best decision I ever made in my life. The process of talking with counselors and having blood drawn and seeing the doctor all the while being in the first stages of withdrawal was long and I very nearly walked out as people were texting me telling me they had tabs for me to buy. But I could not leave. I kept thinking of my little girl and it was her that made me stay. I had to make life better for her and by God I was going to do it that day. it took about 4 hours of waiting and seeing counselors before I got my first 4mg dose of suboxone. After about 30 min I noticed the cold sweats going away. It wasn't quite enough for me though, as I was up to 100mg plus of lortab per day. At 12 mg of suboxone, I felt perfect. I went home to my husband feeling like a million bucks and exclaiming that going there was the best thing I ever did. He started going the next week and our lives have completely changed for the better since then. He is at 16 mg of suboxone (16.00$/day) and I at 12 mg(14.00$/day), which to some may seem a hefty price, but when you consider we were spending anywhere from 100 to 150/day on tabs or roxy's or percs or whatever, well we are now saving quite a bit of moolah. We go early in the morning to take our dose and we feel great all day! I have the energy I need to go to school and take care of our baby and the house. He feels great enough to work all day and come home and play with the baby and the most important thing is that we are happy doing all these things. I think the suboxone actually has helped me also because I was going into a severe depression still addicted to opiates. I was so upset with myself and life and I just couldn't be happy knowing how stuck we were. Everything has changed for us now, and I am so thankful for the clinic and for my friend that told us about the place. Suboxone gives you another chance at life. At least for me it has. Get off pain pills without withdrawals and long term recovery support for people who have had a long term habit. I just could not have done it alone, even if I had toughed out the withdrawals. My life was centered around finding, buying, eating and loving pain pills and I could not have won the fight of quitting alone. I hope this helps someone out there and if not, well I feel better telling someone my story as no one in my life but my husband knows it. Feel free after reading this to ask any questions. I will be glad to answer as best I can. And i beg you, if you are reading this searching for way out, consider a recovery clinic in your area or doctor that can prescribe you suboxone. it can change your life. thanks for reading.

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Verwon Says:

Thank you for sharing a truly inspiring story on our forums!

Very glad that you got the help you needed and are recovering.

For anyone that does read this and is looking for help, you can check for local places that treat with Suboxone at the website, Suboxone.com.

And there is more information on the medication here:


Are there any questions or comments?

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Grady Says:

Thanks for the encouragement. It should be inspiring and reassuring to all. Congratulations on your recovery & best of luck to you and your family. I'm sure it wasn't an easy road, but am glad that you've found a place in life where you are TRULY happy. God Bless...

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karey Says:

Just as an update to my earlier post, it's now been almost six months since entering the treatment clinic, and due to finances can no longer afford to continue in the program. I do still firmly believe that suboxone is a valid method of addiction treatment, but I would like to state that if you don't get the opportunity to slowly taper off of suboxone, that the withdrawal symptoms are just as bad as those of lortab. I had to stop going to the treatment center on monday and by wednesday was not feeling well at all. I have actually had to use lortab just to take a small fraction of the edge off of the w/d symptoms, as I still have to work and take care of my daughter, which is nearly impossible when you feel like as if you have the worst flu of your life. I certainly would not consider myself relapsing, all i truly want is to be free of addictions and to feel like a normal functioning human being that doesnt have to take narcotics to "feel" ok in the normal day-to-day grind. I am keeping my thoughts on this goal and looking forward to day that i can say it's truly over, although i am aware that as an addict, an addict i will always be. just a clean one. prayerfully. will update again in a few weeks should anyone care to read. God bless.

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sam Says:

Good morning, Nows the time you gotta beware of relapsing. How much suboxone are you withdrawing from? Thats pretty low down they would just cut you loose because of lack of cash knowing full well you,d go into wds. But I guess money talks. Verwon replied in another post awhile back that a company called Reckitt Benckiser assists uninsured or low income people. Dr. gave me a zero copay card yesterday at my visit. It pays up to 50.00 a month till end of year on my sub. films. These are just ideas to consider if you can,t stay clean and have to go back on subs. I hope you don,t have to. Personally, I can,t wait to get off them. They have helped me by giving me time to get my head together, not allways looking to score some drugs. Its given my mind a chance to rest. I know that sounds stupid. I,m going through the taper process and gonna jump at 1mg. in a month. Hang in there and please write and let us know how your coming along.

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betterdays40 Says:

maybe cause you were a drug addict and taking the meds to get high like you said-your words...as for alot of us that take these meds responsibly that are in chronic pain need these meds to function and have some quality of life so thanx for the offer for help but your advise in my situation really doesnt apply to me or the thousands of people who are in pain.

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Sage Says:

Yes Karey, I am so glad you decided to get help and I pray you take up the advice to seek financial assistance with the subs. Like Betterdays40 though I am too in a lot of pain. I am disabled after a life of really hard work, got caught up in the women's movement and ended up in construction which a woman's body is really not built for. I am 65 and do take my Norco responsibly, not just as a means to get high but to just be able to function close to normal like being able to load the dishwasher or vaccuum the house. I am also bipolar so tend at times to overdo it. My daughter calls it being supermom. Recently I have not had any transportation and was unable to get to my doctor's office so I went without my meds for 3 months. I call it my cleaning out period but the house is a wreck! I do have an appointment in September and look forward to becoming productive once more. God Bless you and your family and wellness to all of you!

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betterdays40 Says:

sage, thank you for backing me up with the fact we(there are many of us who need these meds to have soe quality of life) im disabled too...accident to face/spine blew out my entire cervical spine at 4 levels and my head is held up with titanium rods and it is 24/7 pain i live in and
i am sorry for going off yesterday at the person but was frustrated and so sick of being labeled from people who dont look at the flipside of the equation. but i am sorry and your right there are people abusing these meds and you have a point and i respect that and just got real mad cause im sick of being labeled a drug addict when that not the case. anyways have a nice day.

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Danielle Says:

i am posting in response to karey's posts, and i am a bit discouraged & sad to see she has not posted since May, so that's almost 4 months, and I have that sinking feeling in my stomach...as an opiate addict who got 5 years clean without suboxone (i didn't know about it in 2005), i know the gutter despair...i also "relapsed" in early 2010 - i hate the word relapse, i know what i did...i was getting dental work done prior to a root canal and wasn't in a lot of pain yet still took the vicoprofen script from my dentist & had it filled that day. It was only for 18 crappy little pills. I put them in drawer. 5 days later, ba BOOM.....was much harder & crappier & worse this time...

I quit drinking 3 months after quitting opiates the first time (11/11/05) and to this day, 9/3/12, I've not had a drink since 2/23/06, so when i had my 7 month run february 2010 - september 2010, during the times I had no pills for a day to 4-5 days, more than anything the psychological ramifications were enough to make me comtemplate suicide. I'd forgotten how it was before when I would run out, which did not happen very often....but I always had alcohol to help mask the insidious withdrawl...
I read Karey's posts and am reminded that as crappy as my luck tends to be, i am lucky to have the health insurance that i have or no way would I have been able to stick & stay with suboxone....I do have to pay the regular office visit prices, same as people with no insurance, but my Prescription plan covers my suboxone with a $10 co pay...I cannot believe any respectable medical practice would pull the rug out from under a suboxone patient whom is under their care...i guess they figure the patient can just tide themselves over with opiates until he or she is able to fnd another suboxone-certified physician who is accepting new patients?
Ugh....awful....I hope Karey comes back online & gives us an update, maybe she's busy with her family and things are ok, or at least not horrible....wish i could split my prescription w/her....Karey if you come back online, know that i read your initial post from January of this year and i related to it on almost every level....

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tekado Says:

There is a coupon for Suboxone for a FREE scrip each month until December this year! You print it out once, show it to the drug store each time you get you Suboxone - You pay NOTHING for copys! Awesome! They would run me $50 a month without that coupon. So please go out to Suboxone.com and print it out. Hope this info will help others who cannot afford the help they need!

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tekado Says:

I had the same thing happen to me, had to up the dose a little to feel normal (if there is a NORMAL?) Not sure if that is the right thing to do but I did. Each day I am on the suboxone I feel different effects, like one day I am feeling good, the next day I hurt all over, next day I have a bad headache, next day not? Does anyone else out there have the same reaction? HELP...I just want to feel good again and be off all of the pills. Please post anything that may help me out. :)

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DAN williams Says:

suboxone is for people afraid of getting opiate dope sick. and personally ive had methadone and finally went cold turkey but if your going to stop, your going to wanna get off suboxene too or whatever. in the end it just prevents and delays the inevitable withdrawl. just be strong minded ive gone cold turkey 2 times since july 2012 cause of new doctors/old getting shut down and still looking for dr. i think if your spending money on suboxene r crazy...just get dopesick for 2-3 days and its over and no suboxene, methadone or anything....just be stronger than the weak junkies. youll be fine cold turkey. i went from 2 30's oxy ir a day to zero once shut down and was ok in the end...never threw up just bathroom alot, tired, aching legs for week or 2. but everything was fine just in alot of pain...whatever you were taking the med sto help u with the pain is going to hurt alot more as your body wont have its narcotic to give the pain relief...its no fun and hope i never have to do it again...dam dea making lives hard to live.

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Johanna Says:
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I agree that Suboxone is awesome when it comes to withdrawals, but if I had to do it all over again, I would not have started taking it. I have been on it for almost a year now and have been trying to get off of it for 14 days now and am still having withdrawal symptoms. At least with pain pills I knew that within a week I'd be good.. well good enough to function anyway. But with Suboxone... I have spoken with people who say that it took almost three weeks for the muscle spasms and restless legs to go away. I almost called my dealer to see about getting a little heroin to help with the Suboxone withdrawals... That is how bad they have gotten. UGH! Suboxone is just another drug that you become addicted to. When in all reality, if we want to stop using why delay the inevitable? Just get it done and get it over with. This is only my opinion, however... I suggest that you do your research on Suboxone before you allow your Subox Doc to write you a prescription... You just might change your mind. As for me, well... I've come this far... tomorrow will be my 15th day trying to kick Suboxone!!! Maybe today will be the last day of my withdrawals! :) Good Luck!

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Johanna Says:
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I agree that Suboxone is awesome when it comes to withdrawals, but if I had to do it all over again, I would not have started taking it. I have been on it for almost a year now and have been trying to get off of it for 14 days now and am still having withdrawal symptoms. At least with pain pills I knew that within a week I'd be good.. well good enough to function anyway. But with Suboxone... I have spoken with people who say that it took almost three weeks for the muscle spasms and restless legs to go away. And I am not talking about kicking the pill habit with the use of Suboxone...I am talking about when you are want to get off of Suboxone! It is a TERRIBLE drug to try and kick. Yes, your doctor will gradually take you down... "the safe route"... But it has been a complete nightmare for me! I almost called my dealer to see about getting a little heroin to help with the Suboxone withdrawals... That is how bad they have gotten. UGH! Suboxone is just another drug that you become addicted to. When in all reality, if we want to stop using why delay the inevitable? Just get it done and get it over with. This is only my opinion, however... I suggest that you do your research on Suboxone before you allow your Subox Doc to write you a prescription... You just might change your mind. As for me, well... I've come this far... tomorrow will be my 15th day trying to kick Suboxone!!! Maybe today will be the last day of my withdrawals! :) Good Luck!

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dan w Says:

thats all i was trying to say.
doctors took mme off my 4 80mg oxycontin(addicted) and put me on methadone in 2005 and i eventually switched back but had to go through the methadone withdrawl cold turkey and took like 3 weeks and hurt legs...with pills, 3-4 days a week tops your done...i agree and was only trying to say all there doing is moving u to another drug whether you admit or not...
i tried going clean for 1 year after my surgery....and i had gotten worse tired of suffering so filed for ssi and went back to pain management...
if your serious about quitting and can and can deal with the pain then do it cold turkey...be at noones mercy if you can get control and fck the doctors, dea, gov, and pharmacies...but if your like me and chronic....we gotta do what we can

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shauna Says:

When I read this it described my husband and I to a T..we need help our habit is as much as yours I just can't find a clinic where I live

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savage Says:

suboxone=for people not wanting to get dopesick and to get off opiates. however, by taking the suboxone your now addicted to another drug. ive done it all and reccomend cold turkey and just get it over with. If your in pain, keep taking meds or whatever works, if not, stop taking the meds you dont need and stop getting high ruining it for the legit people.

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okieluvr Says:

I'll have to agree with betterdays40. I will also add that my Neurologist/Neurosurgeon advised me to NEVER take Suboxone or anything like it. His exact words were "I'd rather someone continue on their pain medications than listening to doctors and anyone else totally clueless about chronic intractable pain making patients think they are an "evil drug seeker/addict because they have to take pain medications in order to have a fraction of the quality of life most enjoy!" The side effects from Suboxone are bad. Just do a Google search about it. Then compare those results to say that of Lortab. Of course a Lortab or any pain medication produces GOOD feelings. That's what it is supposed to do! It's helping our pain! People also need to understand there is a huge difference in true addiction as opposed to dependence/tolerance to a medication. Dependence and tolerance are NORMAL. This does not mean you are an addict or addicted. In fact, the majority of chronic intractable pain patients are seriously UNDERTREATED. The DEA and FDA have the doctors so scared to treat/prescribe, millions are left in sheer agony.

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goodtimes40 Says:

@okielover-thank you for backing me up. its so hard to try to help some of these people because they were just like i was when i was young and dumb(no pun intended and not calling anyone dumb but me)
doctors told me before about getting hooked to another opiate rgardless of how it makes you feel is simply just what it sounds like. your switching off one opiate to another period. the side effects are terrible and to try to get off say suboxone or methadone(long half lifes) is extremely hard to do compared to say roxicodone.
ive done both ways, proper with the doctor and methadone, and cold turkey and withdrawls from roxicodone and i can tell you the roxies took 3-6 days till i was good. the time i had help getting off the oxies to methadone was hell...lasting 4 weeks to get right. remember the methadone even when done correctly like in my case, the day will come when you will have to cold turkey(stop taking meds period if your serious and dont need them) so when you start switching from a short acting opiate for pain to a long acting opiate, well look what happened to me it took 4 weeks vs 1 week tops and really it was bad for 3 days and the rest i could tolerate. but the methadone was 4 weeks and had severe withdrawls with cramped legs,etc. nothing to joke around with. the doctors dont know they just write the rx. look to come off xanax they give valium(long half life) so u need less and it works. but eventually you will want off the suboxone and the only thing they give to help you is another opiate...usually back to a less stronger opiate than what you were on before suboxone. then your back to square one...back on the dam meds that made you want suboxone. Theres alot that goes into the thought of switching meds and remember the only way is to do cold turkey...its over before you know it. if your going to do cold turkey, i suggest getting off methadone and suboxone and switch to a roxi or a short acting opiate then cold turkey when you lower your doseage. always have your doctor help you. remember the darn dr doent know anything but what you tell him so he doent know how the drug exactly works or how to properly cut you down. be careful. its not easy. and really sux for people like me who need pain meds to get out of bed and have some quality of life.
im also learning what i can do(not much anymore) and what i cant do. and as we get older, the metal in my body is affixed to bones, etc and doesnt give where the natural body tends to heal and deal with arising problems. my problems will only get worse not better. but i am thankful for being alive today. just be careful with doctors. they dont care, havent a clue how these meds actually work, etc and are only concerned they are not writing anything that is on the news nowadays. they really dont care

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Danielle Says:

goodtimes40 - u are 100% correct, the doctors do NOT care. I am 100% living proof of that, as I have been going to the same doctors office (2 doctors here) since October 2010, and I have not missed a monthly appointment in all of this time. I have no plan for coming off of this stuff, the suboxone tablet is what i take, and all i have managed to do is go from 20 mgs to 8 mgs. I have a full time job that is very demanding and i barely use my vaca time because we are too busy, so I have no idea how I can have down time for withdrawal. i know i need to wean to as small of an amount as i can...i never heard about taking a short acting opiate to help, that sounds scary for someone like me.foyplv

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goodtimes40 Says:

talk to your doctor. every patient is different. for me, the doctor used methadone to wean me down from oxycontin(80mg 4 times a day) way too much but that was from 2000-2010 so no doctors cared. anyways, i never tried suboxone but friends have and they said just like my doctor said taking any drug, methadone, suboxone, whatever, if you ever wish to come off the suboxone you would have to be given another opiate so you dont go withdrawl...unless your doctor can taper you down slow enough to where your body wouldnt even know it was not taking it anymore. which i never heard of. my doctor says if you wanted off the suboxone for example, he would give me something that has a short half life to make it easier when you decide to stop taking any opiates, the short acting get out in a week where methadone, suboxone takes a month.(i dont know personally bout suboxone but do know about methadone) and friends say its the same type withdrawl in the end.
but if the suboxone works for you..and your able to keep tapering down great. plz let us know. unfortuneatly, i need pain meds daily to function and not be in pain. but the amounts i used to be prescribed was way too much and feel much better with the dosages i get today.

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