Possible Addiction?

Updated

I joined this site to specifically ask this question. Let me give you some background.

I'm a recent college graduate. Shortly before graduation, I got a job at a hotel, working with the banquet department. We handle parties like weddings & bar mitzvahs plus seminars in the hotel. My friend got me this job. This friend is an OxyContin addict.

I first used OxyContin 3 or 4 years ago, when this friend introduced the drug to me. We'd crush it up and swallow it. I would only take it when he offered it to me, once a month, maybe more. I'd also go for months and months without it with no problem. Never had any cravings and it would rarely enter my mind when I did use it.

But once I got this job in the last week of April, I was on my feet a lot, working late into the night (1, 2, 3 am) and sometimes working 12+ hours at once, all with a lot of heavy lifting. And believe me, when my friend offered me Oxy on nights like these, it was a welcome relief from the work and I never turned it down.

During the last week of May, I graduated. No worries from Oxy yet. But as I started making more and more money, I figured, why not? I'll get my own. It took me so little to feel good... I'd take it after work for some fun. After all, most of my friends worked during weekdays (except of course, my Oxy friend), and I worked weekend nights. My social life was taking a dive and I needed to have some fun & relaxation .

I eventually started taking it more often... Every other night I worked, then every night I worked. I'd make sure to stop taking Oxy whenever I went out with my friends, in case we got a few beers, and I didn't feel any ill affects.

Then I started taking Oxy before work... Why not? It'll help keep me going through the night. Then I'll take some after work for some more fun. This started sometime in June, probably around the middle of the month.

This soon became an every workday occurrence, and shortly, because I wanted to feel good on my days off, I'd take it then too.

Anyway, now it's late September. I've been taking Oxy this way consistently, every day, two or three times a day since June. I'll stop for a few days and go through the unpleasantness of separation from Oxy more or less completely, but then start right up again for another week or two. During those few days, I'd think If only I had some Oxy, I'd feel just fine... I'd feel great! I went from taking 5mg in May to feel good, to now 20mg. And right now, as I type this, I'm feeling those unpleasant effects from separation - primarily crawling skin, anxiousness, and insomnia.

Yesterday I went for over 24 hours without it before taking the last of my stash before bed (and I worked 8.5 hours with no worse feeling than anxiety and tired feet, I couldn't resist...), but I still couldn't sleep... I've been up all day yesterday, all last night, and all today, and still can't sleep!

But anyway, considering this time frame (3-4 months), my behavior (using on a daily basis, finding it difficult to stop for an extended period of time, finding my mind wandering to Oxy when I'm not taking it), and withdrawal symptoms, I'm starting to think: am I an addict? I know I've become physically dependent... that much is obvious from what i feel when I stop using. But how do I know I've fallen into an addiction? What's the difference, if any, between dependence and addiction? Please, any help would be greatly appreciated!!

8 Replies

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1

Sweetheart, you have fallen into the category of addiction. You did when you first used the drug in an abusive form. Dependence happens when a medication is taken over a period of time as prescribed - like real chronic pain patients. They usually need an increase every few months or years, in order to achieve the level of pain relief to function. You have abused the medication from the getgo. Only 5% of patients/addicts can succesffully beat this problem on their own. The odds are against you. Please seek help and leave medications like this on the shelf for those chronic pain patients that need opiates to live a little better life. Without medications like these, myself and many other people I know, would have checked out a long time ago. We have to fight and fight to find doctors willing to prescribe these types of med's just in order to enjoy a meal at the dinner table with family, or walk to the mailbox...please think about that the next time you crush a pill. I'm hoping you have at least 1 empathetic bone in your body...as did I writing to you in order to help you in your situation. I am purposefully trying to be empathetic to your situation, even though I'll be living with chronic pain the rest of my life -- believe me, that's not where you want to be -- it is HELL.

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2

Yes, this definitely falls into the addiction category, the behavior you described it almost the exact definition.

To stop, you will need help, probably both psychologically and physically.

Most people are having a lot of success with the new addiction medication Suboxone, so you may want to explore your treatment options with it.

https:/­/­www.medschat.com/­wiki/­Suboxone/­

Is there anything I can help you with?

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3

I have an Irepairably broken back and have struggled for years,fighting through the pain just to do the most basic and simple things in life.Most days I would rather eat a bullet than fight through today just to do it again tomorow,Well that changed when my Doc suggested I try Oxy's,It had been so long since I enjoyed anything but the knawlege that one day I would die.Oxy made life bearable and I actually Began to Love life,I made love to my wife and played with my Neices and Nephews,And looked forward to the good things in life.But thanks to you IDIOT JUNKIE MOTARDS, Im back to the endless pain,Inability to sleep,and the desire for a meteor to come crashing through the roof and landing on my head because I couldnt bear the thaught of putting my family through my suicide.So I wish you the worst that withdrawls have to offer.And thanks for screwing it up for those of us who need these meds.

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4

Bugerflinger you are a complete moron. People like you get hooked off their feet for running their mouth. How dare you pass judgement you deadbeat. Youre probably some desheviled miserable little prick with no life who lashes out on people for whatever reason. Grow up! Quit hiding behind your keyboard and worry about yourself. You have NO right to judge anybody. Hope that meteor comes sooner than later. People like you need to be extinct. Hope your world falls apart and you never find relief :)

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5

Bugerflinger your a real SOB. I have lived with 5 herniated discs for the last 15 years of my life and just in my mid 30's now. So I understand pain and never having a chance to really enjoy life. You and I are addicts as well, the only difference is that we need it for quality of life but we are still addicts just the same. Before judging him answer one thing, you have never once gotten high off your meds and didn't like it just a bit. Yeah, right. Quit acting like a victim because the DEA is cracking down on prescription drug users.

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6

Sorry to say darling but you have an addiction. Before I became an addict for quality of life due to chronic pain, I was a meth addict for a couple of years. First you have to be really honest with yourself. The fact that your even asking the question tells me you know you have a problem. I know because I did the same thing. Deep down I wanted someone, anyone to tell me that I was fine and that I wasn't out of control or that it was understandable because I was working two jobs and trying to raise my two year old daughter on my own and that I needed the boost to get through my day. I wanted any excuse that would allow me to keep using. One day without it and would get the shakes, cold sweats, I didn't eat, couldn't sleep. My thoughts during the day was more on where and when was going to get my next hit. I got lucky and moved away from the city where my dealer lived for a better job that allowed me to get clean. Since I knew nobody in my new city, I chose not to go looking for it and get clean. It took me 1 hard week of withdraws after that it got easier day by day. If you can get professional help, please do so. It is really hard to do on own. Good luck

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7

for butterfinger breaking is the worst thing that could happen. I can't t believe any body has the gull to put you down. don't listen they are the morons, chronic pain is no joke, and it only get's worst whit age.

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8

butterfinger i wrote you to take up for you, to many people put you down with a hard heart. I'dlike to here back from you. You have to stay away from your oxy friend he is an addict there is a very fine line between addiction and dependence. You do not have to be an addict! you can be dependant at worst. You have to go through the rules and do it right! You will be alright keep your mind right and don't drift. Don' use drugs ever to use them recuraioally. They bite hard if you need them study about it and do it right. Peace out!

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