Getting Off Morphine Successfully ?

Updated

Hello Everyone,
I have posted in other forums, not knowing where to post my story, to get answers and suggestions. I have been on morphine, over the last 10 years, at least. My primary, who has closed her practice, suddenly at the end of 2012, intensified my Morphine up to 300 mgs a day. But, when she disappeared, I saw an Internist, another lady doctor, who was just as caring, listens well and takes her time with her patients. This doctor, who was my doctor for a year, suddenly disappeared too, with no one telling me, until the day I called, my appointment day. She was concerned that the Morphine, was no longer working for my severe, day & night time pain. I was diagnosed with MCTD, (Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, which includes Lupus, RA, Scleroderma and other associated illnesses, such as Crest Syndrome). This new doctor also diagnosed me with these illnesses. She started me on Butrans Patches, which were very helpful for my pain and getting me off the Morphine, for four months. But, we found out the medicare insurance wouldn't cover it. I can't afford additional insurances. So, she put me on Buprenorphine, which also helped, but not as much with the pain. Still I took it, because she said, if worse comes to worse, if nothing else she tries wouldn't help me, then she would put me back on a low dose of Morphine, again. As I wrote, earlier, she had me off the Morphine for four months, until she suddenly disappeared, being pressured to make more money for the clinic, seeing more and more patients and spending less and less time with her own.

Then, the head of the clinic, another woman doctor, called me, because they had suddenly stopped my Buprenorphine, without telling me. I didn't find this out, until I only had two left. She put me back on the stupid Morphine! But, only for 180 mgs a day. Then she sent me to this man doctor, who is a real jerk! Normally, I don't think of doctors, like this, but I am being very kind at calling him what I just did. The moment he stepped into the exam room, he didn't smile, but looked at me as if I was a drug addict! As if I abused my prescriptions, which I didn't and sometimes took less, forgetting my afternoon dosage. Then, he told me he read my history, which was a lie, because he said my blood diagnostics were negative on ANA results. I hadn't had blood work in two years, because the last two doctors were so busy, they forgot to write the script for them. Plus, had this jerk read my history, he would have seen, right from the very first doctor, I saw in this state, of 13 doctors, not including my last one, that some of my blood results were positive and 4 doctors said I had Lupus. Even a podiatrist, who could have built me expensive soles, for my painful feet, but felt they wouldn't do any good, because he also said I had Lupus. Yet this doctor says there is nothing wrong with me, it is all in my head! Not only that, he gave me another script for Morphine, the same dosage, when I had just filled the one from the head doctor. So, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand has done. On top of all this, he wouldn't listen to me about the other doctors, who diagnosed me with Lupus and who's many websites, including the Mayo Clinic's site, all state that ANA positives don't always show positive, every time blood is taken. He just watched the clock and dismissed me, without any examinations or blood work, again, after less than 5 minutes. On top of that, he said when I was off the Morphine, I was just to take over the counter medications and not bother doctors! Can you believe that?

I've been suffering, since high school, where a doctor said I had arthritis, and had me moved to modified gym. It was horrible, for I was shy and quiet and all the kids made fun of me, anyway, so this was another thing to do to me. I had taken over the counter medications, up until I moved here and someone helped me close my business and get on state medical assistance, (since my business only lasted four months, because I was in such pain and ready for a meltdown, according to my fiance', who was my assistant. He came from a medical background. He's no longer with me, for he passed away from lung cancer). It turned out, I was ruining my stomach, my kidneys and had a horrible gall bladder attack, which I was rushed into emergency, by the third doctor, who saw how bad it was, just by feeling the area where it was. Even then, after four doctors, taking several hours, just to get through the badly scarred walls, before taking it out, the nurses offered me strong medication, but I refused it, for the pain wasn't as bad as the attack. However, the other pains, in my body, I thought would be better, but it turns out, it was worse. The bad gall bladder had masked the other pains, except for my pain in my spine, from scoliosis.

That doctor felt I needed stronger medication, so he sent me to my primary, of 13 years. She sent me to all the others, trying to figure out what I had. She first thought i had Fibromyalgia, but through the years, saw my pain spread more and more and intensified, so she helped me get a free power chair, from the Scooter Store, so I can get around, for my legs and hips were becoming painful, when I tried to stand or sit for more than 10 minutes, or less on some other days. She wouldn't had done this, or put me on Morphine, if there was nothing wrong with me, especially after taking a night, reading my entire history, again and came up with Crest Syndrome and Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder, along with the scoliosis. Now, this jerk, whom I refuse to go to, again, thinks there is nothing wrong with me, without an examination. I, since found out, by calling other doctors' offices, that they refuse to see chronic pain patients. Plus, when they found out, I am put on the Morphine, again, they refuse to see me. I am certain it is from the DEA, who think they have a medical background and only think cancer patients are suffering. So, they are on the war path! The "War on Drugs" is now also affecting patients who need these strong medications just to live. I've been trying to cut the 60 mg. morphine pills, in half, only taking 30 mgs a day. But, I get such severe cramping, in my GI tract, almost passing out, from them, and vomiting, getting headaches from these pains, I have to take the 60 mg. a day, again. Plus, my heart is having problems, I get such severe pain, from my spine, going into both sides of my rib cage, that it too, causes me to vomit and pass out. Having a baby, without medications, as I did, was a peace of cake, compared to these pains. So, for these other pains, in the chest, I take two blood pressure pills and my nitro, because my blood pressure climbs so high, up to 185/74! Eventually, the pains subsides, after a lot of praying, too, but my chest hurts so much, for much longer, afterwards. So, thinking the combo of my medications might be causing this, along with the Morphine pills cut in half, to only 30 mgs/day, I am thinking all my other symptoms, from the other illnesses are coming back. I only take the nitro and blood pressure pills when these attacks happen. The only medication I am taking now, is the Morphine, Clonidine and Trazodone to help me sleep. But, they only work for an hour, then I wake with horrible, restless legs. So, tonight for example, I didn't sleep at all, falling asleep only at 8:30 a.m., getting out of bed at 11 a.m., but during that little sleep, my darling neighbor gets up early, after going to bed at 8:30 p.m., to make all the noise she can, working in her yard, starting sometimes at 5:30 in the morning. She knows my condition, which keeps me from sleeping, but she doesn't care and does it on purpose. Because I had politely asked her from making noise, in her yard, at 4:40 a.m., 2:30 a.m. and finally at 11:30 p.m., after I went to bed. But, I won't go into what other things she does to disturb us, my ex-husband, who is blind and destitute, with no one to help him, but myself. So, between all this, I hardly get any sleep and have no energy to do anything during the day.

Thank you, for reading my long story. I wrote it, in hopes someone can make suggestions especially since I live in Sierra Vista, AZ and there are no doctors that will help me, because I am on the morphine, still. I have hopes a doctor who was highly recommended to me, by my pharmacists, the delivery man, and a friend, will see me, in July. She is closing one practice and is going to have one, with the University of Arizona's new clinic, not far from my house. But, she need time to get settled, so I can't call her, until July, in hopes I will have taken me off the Morphine, completely, by then. But, the way it is going, I am stuck with the 60 mgs./day, for now. So, if someone can tell me how to successfully cut the pills down, without the horrible restless legs, then I will be so pleased to hear from you. In the meantime, I hope you all to be as well as possible am keeping all of you, in my prayers.

9 Replies

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1

Dear Marivan, I read your story and my heart truly goes out 2 u. I hope u can find the right Dr who will treat u properly and help u with your pain. I have a number of medical problems that makes me suffer from pain, 2. So, I understand. I'm on suboxone now, which seems 2 help some what with the pain. Can't take pain pills , because I abused them for years. Was on methadone , which helped a lot with pain. But , like a tool , I decided 2 get off. (BIG MISTAKE!) I'm happy where I'm at now. I wish I could help u out more, but , I will b praying for u. Let me know how u make out.

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2

The problem you're facing probably has more to for with you being on Medicaid as well as the morphine. Medicaid providers have been under extreme pressure to reduce the amount of pain meds they prescribe for non cancer chronic pain, if not totally eliminate them due to wide spread abuse. The Medicaid Managed Care Orgainzations also play a huge part in it.

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3

Hello,
Thank you for your reply. My challenge is my medicare insurance doesn't mind covering my morphine, as it still does and my last, good doctor said it was because the DEA had come to their clinic and insisted unless a patient has cancer, they can't have their relief. My insurance is happy to cover it, for it is less cheaper than the Butrans patch and the Buprenorphine. I was never sent a notice from the insurance, either, but they did send me a notice about the Butrans patch no longer being covered. No, it some from the government and the DEA, with their "War on Drugs," as I read it in other sites. I am happy to have your reply, thank you. Will you be willing to sign my petition, it should help all of us, including you.

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4

Hello Cats68,
Thank you for your kind and caring reply. Is what you are taking helping you? I have been reading many posts, on this site and others, about the different things working for pain patients to help them with their pain. Some say the Subutex and the one, you mention helps with their pain, too. It is a shame that we all have to go through, loosing our doctors and not having what we need, not abuse, for pain, just because we don't have cancer. (Although I might, for I've had cancerous moles diagnosed, but haven't gone back to get others checked). Plus, I'm loosing muscle mass, like my dad and fiance' did. The doctors didn't do an MRI or DNA testing on me, they said it would "Cost the Taxpayers Money," forgetting I am a taxpayer too, since I was 15. Maybe a new doctor will do these things, to once and for all find out all that is happening to me. I have a long life to live, I hope and don't want to suffer anymore. I will let you know, but in the meantime, if you go to the link, I posted above, sign my petition, it should help all of us chronic pain patient. Thank you again, for the nice reply and may GOD Bless you.

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5

Am sorry to hear this its too bad...but u said when you take half of 60mg your legs hurt bad my good friend had the same problem he thought he wasn't getting enough pain medication but it turn out it was too late after losing everything he was addict

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6

Hi Marivan, I'm on suboxone which works ok 4 the pain. When I was on the methadone, that worked GREAT! But, I thought I was ready 2 get off of it. BIG MISTAKE! And, as I mentioned, I can't take pain pills, because, I was addicted 2 them 4 many years. I still suffer with a lot of pain, due 2 many medical problems. Hope all works out 4 u. I will keep u in my prayers. Let me know how u make out.

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7

Hi Good Guy,
Thanks for your reply. It's not that my legs hurt, it is because they become so restless, at night. My whole body hurts, as it always has, except when I was on a higher dose of morphine, but eventually my body started to have pain in more areas, such as the top of my feet, where it was only just the bottom, for many years. Now, my entire hands hurt, my hips are in terrible pain and even the low dosage of morphine, (sometimes taking what's left of my breakthrough, Norco, which they won't refill for me, either does help a tiny bit. But, I am running out of them). I made it a point to take my two clonidine and two trazodones, all at once, right before bed. That seems to help a little too. I don't know what I will do, if I can't find a doctor, who will see that I am very ill, believe me and read my entire history, to see what my two, past primary doctors saw. Not just look at me, think I am a drug addict and dismiss me.
Again, thank you for your nice reply. I wish you well, as can be...

Always!

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8

Hi Cats68,
When you say you were addicted to pain pills, were you addicted to the over the counter ones? I was taking those, since high school, which eventually stopped working and ended up hurting my stomach and kidney. They are fine now, funny how the morphine was tolerated by my body, when Lyrica and Methotrexate gave me hives and/or stomach upset, without keeping anything down. Because I couldn't tolerate the methotrexate, my RA doctor, decided if I could't tolerate it, I didn't have RA! My primary doctor shook her head and laughed, it was a rediculous statement. Before I could ask the RA doctor, for something else, she moved to Tucson, four hours drive from me. I can't seen any other, for there are no RA doctors, in our town and I can't travel to Tucson.

You say you are on the Suboxone, it is helping a little, with your pain, will you be having trouble getting it, because of the DEA oppressing patients and their doctors, pharmacies and manufacturers? They are doing this all over the country, especially in my area. I wonder if it is on their list of stopping patients from taking it, like they are doing with the buprenorhine, butrans patch, morphine, oxycontin and all the similar medications us chronic pain patients are taking to get relief. I am hoping that I can ask for that, whenever I can get a doctor to see me, that is. It is becoming hard to do that, for most doctors, here, are refusing to treat chronic pain patients. Plus, there is no Pain Clinics here, (not to mention I don't have the money to visit more than one doctor).

So, if you can let me know more about what you are taking, I would be greatly appreciative. So far, so good on cutting down to only 30 mgs/day of morphine, on my own. In another week, I am going to cut those halves in quarters. Wish me luck? I am thinking of you all and pray you will go and sign my petition, I mention in an earlier post, to stop the government and DEA from treating us like drug addicts. We need our medications, don't feel high on them, for they go straight to the pain.

Please take care....
Always!

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9

Standard withdrawal protocols called for — 10% every day or two. Problem is that you have 6mg tabs, which are probably EXTENDED RELEASE and cutting them wreaks havoc with a drug delivery system. Might be best to enter —voluntarily — a hospital-bashed Dextox Program.

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