Adderall Saved My Life

Updated

I understand all the negativity about adderall but I think sometimes there is too much negativity. I'm new to this and never told my story online like this before so please bare with me. I was a bad kid right off the bat. I was drinking and consuming cannabis and cigs at age 12. It just got worse from there. In high school I had a lot of connections a normal 16yr old kid should never had. I was an addict up for days and drinking at the same time. I'm sure you're probably thinking what does this have to do with adderall? I'll get to that but I might as well put my story out there first. I've never done this before, only my family and closest friends know this. Maybe it will help someone or something. By the time everything caught up to me I was in jail for distribution of illicit drugs. I was looking at 10-15 years. I had a relative who got me a lawyer and he worked out a deal that if I join the military and get honorably discharged my drug charges would be dropped. I joined the navy. I became an engineman but found it hard to forget my past. I was on duty for 3 days straight and off for 2. I managed to get out honorably. I served in dessert storm and came out with a career. I became a mechanic for Mercedes-Benz making close to 2 grand a week. The only problem was I was still a drunk and abusing substances. I had a wife and son who left me and was giving half my paycheck for child support. That just made me use and drink more. Finally my mom and sister got me to go to rehab. I was 25 years old and found out while in rehab I was bipolar and self-medicating.

Finally I'm sober and have a good girl and a daughter and things are going good. Then the day before thanksgiving 2010 I was rear ended by a drunk driver at 70mph. My back was trashed, they had to take out 3 disks in my lower back and replace them with 6 steel cages and filled them with bone growth hormone and 2 titanium rods and 10 titanium screws. So now I'm disabled and broke. I'm seeing a shrink cause I'm bipolar-2 which is more depression than manic. I'm on seroquel, lexapro, wellbutrin, klonopin and vyvanse. Plus the opiates for pain which still is norco 10s and fentanyl 100mcg patches. I'm sure you guessed it I'm abusing everything at this point. Well my new happy family I had before the accident left me. I was drowning in my own sorrow. The vyvanse I took to wake me up from the opiates which really didn't do much. One day I overdosed on fentanyl. No one heard from me for a couple of days and finally my girl came to make sure I was alive and she found me sitting Indian style on the floor. I couldn't walk, I couldn't feel my feet. My girl said I had no pulse in my feet. Finally she got me to the couch and said she was gonna call an ambulance. I wasn't having that cause my doc would find out and I'd lose my meds. I was trying to convince her I could walk but I was falling all over the place. Every time I took a step I'd fall on my solid wood floors. She finally sat me down and got a pulse on my foot. She went to get my neighbor who's wife was a nurse. I somehow convinced them not to call 911. I was alone again and started taking too much klonopin. I was falling every time I stood up, falling hard. I mean I thought I didn't have feet, I just kept falling. So the next day of course I don't remember nothing at all, my feet felt like they were sleeping and my leg was blowing up like a balloon. I thought I broke my leg. I gave it a few days and it just kept getting bigger.

It was Christmas eve and my mom came over with my kids to spend Christmas together. My girl was out of town visiting her family. Finally my mom and kids convinced me to go to ER for my leg. They give me a shot of morphine which didn't help, then a shot of fentanyl! Like I really needed that s***. Well they do their thing and come back and tell me I'm really sick and have to go to ICU because my kidney wasn't working. From me falling all over my leg was swollen because the muscle was leaking so much fluid that my kidney couldn't filter. It's rabdomyalasys. I probably spelled it wrong. Anyway the doc told me I need a kidney and put me on dialysis 3 times a week until I get a kidney. I thought I was in shock. I couldn't believe all this was happening. Well I did dialysis for 3 months and it started getting to the point where my numbers were going up and they were just cleaning my blood instead of dialysis. Well I'm sorry for dragging this out, it just feels good to tell my story to people who don't know me. Well my kidney started working and I don't have to get a kidney and they took me off dialysis. I'm sorry I'll get to the point. My kidney is good I stopped getting the fentanyl and my wife and kids came home and she handles my meds. I talked to my shrink and got off the benzos but my depression was terrible and the bipolar didn't get better like my kidney. The vyvanse was doing it for me. I'd be to the point where I wouldn't get out of bed for days. I would see a commercial or something and start balling, it was bad.

Finally my doc said I want to try something. He said I'm gonna give you adderall IR 20mg 3 times a day as needed. I'm supposed to take it on the days my depression is bad, like when I don't get out of bed or shower for days. This is the honest to God truth, adderall saved my life! All I am on now is adderall, seroquel and gabapentin for the nerves I damaged in my feet. I gave myself neuropathy for who knows how long I was sitting Indian style and damaged my feet. After getting off the patches and the benzos, my wife handles my pain meds so I don't abuse them. The adderall was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't have add or adhd. I'm bipolar and I get adderall for depression. I haven't felt this good in years! I don't know if this will help anyone or change their opinion about adderall but to be honest writing all this and boring you with my story was therapeutic for me. I'm sorry for boring you. Please mind your meds cause it's easy to lose track once your on that train or someone in your family jumps on that train from stealing your meds! Thanks for letting me tell my story

14 Replies

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1

Wow! So sorry you messed up like that. All self inflicted, so I hope you realize that and APPRECIATE that woman, and stay clear of the drugs...your kids are watching. You need to set a better example so they do not go thru what you have. We're only on earth once, so appreciate life and live accordingly. I appreciated that you shared your journey to clean and sober. Probably helps to get it out. So, yes, I'm a stranger rooting for you! My son has Multiple Sclerosis - has always been sober, but suffers anyway as there is no cure for that. Appreciate LIFE and your family!

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2

First of all, Salvie let me say I can definitely say I sympathize and feel your pain. I have a longer list of ailments with over 18 medications- 2 opioids, 1 benzodiazepine [(Diazepam which I take for panic attacks/anxiety/and stress induced asthma attacks and racing heartbeats. My resting heart rate with it is about 110) and that my Pain Management Dr has told me that I MUST wean off of it I want to continue taking ANY opiate/narcotic medication] My sleep medication originally was Ambien CR (which should be discontinued and banned from ALL Markets caused sleepwalking and me to fall one night, at least I think it was 1 night- It could be more and gosh knows what else I have done. The plus side - was I had MRIs done of my C-Spine through my Lumbosacral Spine and they did find something NEW from it I had Obstructive Sleep Apnea. Guess I should apologize for my rambling and me telling my story. And NO they ARE NOT giving me opioids for Sleep Apnea. They did switch my sleep medication for awhile to Belsomra 20mg which was AMAZING! I did put sleigh bells on my front door they are loud as anything just in case I woke up in the middle of the night as well as locking my garage door and taking the battery out of my clicker, ha! That way I was going anywhere. Also, once the CPAP was on the hose kind of restricts you from moving and if you take it off the air is hard enough to WAKE YOU UP!! Had to get up in the middle of the night and was half asleep and well, that woke me right up.

Ok.. enough about me. I noticed that you said you are BIPOLAR but you AREN'T really taking anything for it? You are taking 3 anti-depressants-Seroquel, Lexapro, and I forgot the other one but do not see Lithium for the Bipolar. You say you aren't ADD/ADHD and you ARE Taking something for it. That drug starting with a V is for ADHD/ADD. So I am confused. You are taking Gapapetin for nerve pain. Klonopin is for anxiety. Government is cracking that whip on Benzos /Adderall and Opioids and red flagging them to answer the question. They are also limiting to who prescribes the medication. BTW- have you tried Cannabis Oil without THC? In other words---- it will not make you High! Good Luck!

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3

Yours has been a long, challenging journey, but the fact you have survived all your obstacles is a testament to your strength and character. Carry on with your success knowing you are that proven survivor and one who will ultimately find your solitude. I admire and hope for the level of courage you exemplify.

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4

Ty for sharing. I am so glad you have a med monitor. I wish i did. I hear a lot of me in your story, but alas no Doc that prescribes adderall for depression here. I would love to get my depression treated. I do go to counseling and am on cymbalta and lamictal. I stopped drinking 5yrs ago. A.A helps. But depression still comes. I am single, untrusting, and 60yrs old. Ty for sharing. Cheers to u.

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5

Adderall has been around for decades because it is a great drug for some people. Almost all drugs are great drugs for some people but not for all people. Some of the posts about meds are; "My experience was bad so for god's sake don't take this drug," which is a profoundly unhelpful communication. I note in your communication that Adderall was trialed with you after many other meds. This is as it should be. Good luck. Dr. Tim

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6

How long have you been on adderall please. I was addicted to amphets.and the rest and still get very weak and sluggish.

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7

My daughter was on Adderol and she had muscle jerking so the doctor took har off now she is having convulsions has anyone ever had this problem?

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8

I understand. It helps me with depression a lot. Glad you finally found what works for you.

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9

You didn’t bore me at all. As a Chemist, I’d like to warn you about some of the ingredients in specifically unnamed medications. There are Aspartate’s, and Saccharine(s), analogies in certain recipes. It maybe better for you to ask your prescribing physician to write your prescription for amphetamine salts. The ingredients I’ve mentioned were at one time commonly thought to be mostly sugar based. Those naughty ingredients have been known to lead potentially as causes to tumors, cancers, also possibly cystic conditions, as well restless leg syndrome. If you’re able to research involving active/inactive ingredients in medications, it maybe in your best interest to find a, or the pharmaceutical company that contains a lesser known mixed/compounded amount of the harmful recipe(s) including ingredients like Meth.

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10

Salvie, your initial post was written on the 11th. It is now the 23rd. We are trying to help IF you do NOT interact it does make it more difficult.

EF- I understand your a chemist but laws and the DEA Amphetamines are a controlled substance He is already taking ONE. + He is taking a Benzodiazepine [red flag] + an opioid [red flag]. They are making harder for people to get the medication they have been taking. There are some Pharmacies that will be only dispensing ONE week at a time for these meds. In hopes to bring the epidemic of deaths of a controlled prescription drugs down. I know Caremark /CVS is doing this. I have been taking for years Benzodiazepine [Diazepam -anxiety and for a resting heart rate of 110 with it], opioids (we switch every 6-9 months the one I take so We do NOT increase the dose), and a sleep medication. Apparently those are now a no no after TWO decades of taking these. Pain Management is Now the ONLY place that now prescribes opioids. They are willing to let me slowly wean off of it. Oh, and Soma as a muscle relaxer is flagged NO one is prescribing it. It is now a controlled drug. You take that say goodbye to all the others. I believe that is the only way you can have Soma.

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11

Thank you for telling your story. I am so sorry you went thru all of it but am so proud you came thru. my son did this and is doing good now. so glad you are doing better, keep it up. life is so worth it and it can shorten so much time at any age. I am 56 and i have been going thru early dementia for a year and was getting very unanimated, no more laughs and not wanting to be around anyone but family. I was suspicious of untrustworthy people and so unlike the easy going me before as time goes on i feel more stupid, but my brain doctor put me on 2 alzhimer meds plus Adderall and i have more times that i think better and act more alive. I still dont like to be with people much cuz i dont want them to see me on any bad days when I act stupid and lost, sometimes at a loss of word meanings and I dont even think most know I have it. I lost my job of 35 years and just dropped out off from all people and facebook. Most have given up on getting ahold of me so that is good but sometimes depressing too. tho I'm sure it's for the better. I used to be one of the lives of the party but on my better days i do more around my house. On bad days I cant focus or think/remember to do things but i still feel more human than before i took Adderall.

I thank my doctor for giving it to me. I'm scared of going away and i will fall into myself again faster. I want as many times with my family as i can. My son finally could not stand his life and went to jail. He got out moved in with us and was in court ordered drug court. He's now teaching others in drug court what the addictions did and what he had to do, but i lost my job a year ago due to early dementia and could not perform good. I still have some good days where i am active and I can do stuff more done, but I have a lot of bad days too. But now I'm with Adderall and it's really better than before as my neurologist stated because I was slipping into myself and was very unanimated. Since then, I have less bad days, that last all day. Now I have days that are mixed, bad and good, but I am more wanting to go outside and sit on the porch and watch nature and cars more. Good job keep it up. You don't want to miss good days as they go fast. Can we vote someplace to keep Adderall? My husband has to give me my pain pills too.

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12

Re: ISE (# 10) Expand Referenced Message

2 people voted this down? OK, Why? First I ask for the OP to interact so we can help. Then I told the truth! The DEA IS putting Restrictions on what Drs can write prescribe and How much. And as patients we can suffer for it. If anything. It should have been voted UP!

Oh the other exception are Oncologists but those are for cancer related pain. The DEA ISN'T concerned about cancer patients getting addicted or overdosing on Opioid/Benzodiazepine Amphetamines combination which can cause respiratory failure or your heart to stop beating.

Example; My Pain Management Dr was Dropped from my Insurance and after 17 + years of taking Class II controlled substance opioids was told NO ONE can give me these medications besides a Pain Management Dr, Oncologist [cancer patients] or Go to an ER. We ALL know ERs do NOT give enough pills you need to go and Follow up with a Dr. At Pain Management we had an opioid agreement signed which includes random U/A's and I always took them as prescribed. We rotated them to different ones to avoid tolerance. All controlled substances require random drug panels. This ISN'T MY LAW, IT IS THE DEA and it is relatively new. States since this summer have been implementing them. Oh and what I was getting around to saying --- when my Dr. was cut, so were my meds.

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13

I was on adderall for years and they jerked me off of it b/c they said I was too old. I have been going downhill since. My life was finally perfect for once in my life after given adderall. My life is hopeless since being jerked off. Life has stopped for me. You are blessed to get it. Too bad I'm too old to have a life. Thanks for listening!

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14

Re: Stephanie (# 13) Expand Referenced Message

Time to find another doctor! I work in healthcare with many "elderly" patients and there are many that take Adderall. Granted, I am a little surprised when I see it on the list of meds, but I know they're not all having it prescribed because of add! In fact, I doubt any of them have been prescribed it for that reason. Maybe you can find a compassionate doctor who will listen to your history and see you "need" it to not just live, but to have a life! Good luck!

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