My Life In Reverse Please Help

IM A 33 YEAR OLD MAN WITH SERVER PSORIATIC ARTHRITIS .MOSTLY IN MY FEET AND LEGS AND I HAVE BEEN IN TERRIBLE PAIN FOR OVER 12 YEARS .FROM DOCTOR TOO DOCTOR GETTING MISDIAGNOSED OVER & OVER AGAIN UNTIL I WAS FINELY WAS TOLD MY CONDITION AROUND 24.
SENCE THEN I HAVE BEEN PRESCRIBED SO MANY DIFFRENT PILLS I CANT NAME THEM ALL.SOME MADE ME MAD ,SOME MADE ME SHAKE ,SOME MADE ME ITCH,VOMIT,CRY ,WANT TO DIE,SLEEP,CANT SLEEP ,EAT CANT EAT ,PALE ,QUITE,SAD,SICK AND SO ON .NONE IN WITCH TOOK ANY PAIN AWAY .
THEN I FOUND medical marijuana ( THIS IS NOT ABOUT medical marijuana ) IT HELPED ALOT ,BUT NOT ENOUGH TO HELP ME WALK OR STOP FROM FALLING DOWN .SO I SEE MORE DOCTORS UNTIL ONE DAY I FOUND SOMEONE WHO HELPED ME A GREAT DEAL AND GOT ME WALKING AGAIN IN NO TIME AT ALL .I THOUGHT THANK YOU GOD .I CAN HAVE A SOME WHAT NORMAL CHANCE AT LIFE FOR THE 1ST TIME SENCE I WAS 16 AND PLAYING HIGH SCHOOL HOCKEY AND FOOTBALL.
LITTLE DID I KNOW I FELL INTO THE HANDS OF THE DEVILS GRIP .THAT IS THE MASS STATE LAWS .
THE SO CALLED HERO DOCTOR OF MINE HAD STARTED ME ON MORPHINE AND IC FENTANYL PATCHS .WHICH HAVE SAVED MY LIFE .I CAN NOW WALK FAST ,TAKE SOME STAIRS, WALK AROUND STORES AND TAKE CARE OF MY SELF ! GIVING MY PARENTS TIME TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN HEALTH PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF WORREING AND HAVING TO TAKE CARE OF A 33 YEAR OLD .WHICH IS MADE ME A MUCH BETTER PERSON .BEFORE I STARTED THEASE MEDS PEOPLE SAID "DUDE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE AIDS " "ARE YOU DIEING"AND "EWW" NEVER MIND THE PUBILIC STARES FROM THE RUDEST OF PEOPLE MAKING ME FEEL COMPLETLEY WORTHLESS AND I HIT A ALL TIME HIGH WITH DEEP DEPRESTION AND CRAZY THOUGHTS .I HATED MY LIFE ,I WOULD BE ANGREE WITH THE WORLD AND WOSRT OF ALL I TOOK IT OUT ON THE ONES WHO HELPED ME THE MOST .MY MOM .
IT KILLS ME TO THINK BACK OF HOW PAINFULL MY LIFE WAS UNTIL THE DRUGS WERE LEGALEY GIVING TO ME BUY MY DOCTOR .I AM A MORE HAPPY PERSON THIS WAY .I NOW GET THE COMPLAMENTS I ALWAYS WANTED AND THE FEMALE PROBLEMS HAVE ENDED IN DEED .MY MOTHER CAN NOW HELP MY GRANDMOTHER WITH HER TIME AND IM BETTER THEN I WAS AS A TEEN .
NOW TODAY I WAS TOLD BUY THE DOCTOR THAT HE CAN NO LONGER PERSCRIBE ME MY MEDS BECAUSE I HAVE THC IN MY SYSTEM .THIS IS DEVASTATING NEWS TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE TRIED TO STOP SMOKING BEFORE AND THE MEDS TOWAR APART MY INSIDES ,I LOST WEIGHT AND WAS NOSHUS ALSO COULD NOT HOLD DOWN FOOD IF I WAS EVEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET HUNGRY ON PILLS ALONE.I HAVE BEEN ON THEASE VERY HIGH DOSES OF PAIN MEDS FOR SIX SEVEN YEARS NOW AND JUST READ UP ON WITHDRAWLS AND IM SO SCARRED .WHAT DO I DO ? I DONT WANT TO COME OFF THE ONLY HELP I HAVE EVER KNOWEN.PLUS I REMEMBER HOW PAINFULL MY LIFE ONCE WAS I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT PLACE IN LIFE AGAIN .IM HONESTLY MOVED TO TEARS AS SILLY AS IT SOUNDS JUST THINKING OF WHATS TO COME .I HAVE NEVER BEEEN IN CRIME OR JAIL,WHY DO I GET THC TESTS .I SIGNED A CONTRACT WITH MY DOCTOR SAYING I WILL BRING MY MEDS EACH TIME SO HE CAN COUNT THEM .SO I HAVE DONE THIS WITH NO PROBLEMS EVER .NOTHING EVER CAME UP IN MY SYSTEM OTHER THEN WHAT I HAVE BEEN APPROVED TO TAKE ALL BUT THC .THE PILLS DONT WOKE ALONE NOR DOSE THE medical marijuana.,BUT TOGHETHER IM A PERSON WHO CAN LIVE ALONE WITH OUT HELP .NOW THE THINGS I HAVE READ ABOUT COMMING OFF THEASE TYPES OF DRUGS ARE GOING TO BE WORST THEN IN WHITCH I STARTED .IM FROM MASS WERE YOU GET A $100 FINE IF CAUGHT WITH A SMALL AMOUNT OF medical marijuana .SO WHY AM I BEING TREATED LIKE A CRIMINAL WHEN IM LESS THEN A $100 FINE. IF I WAS FROM CALI I WOULD BE ABLE TO CONTINUE MY TREATMENT THAT HAS MADE ME A NEW PERSON ,BUT I LIVE IN MASS SO NOW THEY SAY I SHOULD SPEND TIME IN A REHAB OR HOSPITAL TO GET OFF THE ONLY THINGS THAT CAN TAKE MY PAIN AWAY SO I CAN WALK AND BE IN LESS PAIN AND BECOME LABILED A DRUG ATTICT .R.I. I HERD ALSO CAN GIVE medical marijuana CARDS BUT I DONT HAVE A CLUE ON HOW TO GO ABOUT GETTING A CARD AND I WOULD HAVE TO MOVE OUT OF MY HOME STATE .PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN TELL ME HOW TO TAKE MYSELF OFF THEASE MEDS WITH OUT USING OTHERS DRUGS TO REPLACE THE ONES THAT ARE BEING TAKING.BECAUSE I REFUSEE TO DO ANY IN PATIENT PROGRAMS ,MEETINGS ,NONE OF THAT . I NEED TO DO IT AT HOME COLD TURKEY BUT IM VERY SCARED .ANY R.I. CARD HOLDERS OR DOCTORS WITH ANY IDEAS I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR SOME OPTIONS OTHER THAN THEN ONE I HAVE NOW WITCH IS NONE .
THIS DEPRESSES ME SO MUCH THAT ALL THE PROGRESS THAT WAS MADE OVER THE YEARS WILL NOW ALL BE FOR NOTHING .IT FEELS LIKE I WAS TEASED INTO THINKING I WAS GOING TO BE OK AND WALK AGAIN AND HAVE SOME LIFE LEFT WITH FRIENDS AND FAMLIY.THANK YOU TOO ANYONE WHO TOOK THEIR TIME TO READ THIS .THANKS JASON

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You're post is very hard to read, since it is all one long run-on and mostly in capital letters.

However, gathering what I could, you go in trouble for having THC in your system, when you receiving pain medications from your doctor.

That is not his fault, the government is cracking down and making doctors do this if they detect any medications that are not prescribed. The doctors no longer have any choice.

As to getting off the medications you are on, you're options after being cut off are very limited and I would suggest you go the route of getting medical help in a facility that can assist you. I know you may not like the idea, but it's really the best choice.

https:/­/­rxchat.com/­wiki/­Fentanyl/­

https:/­/­rxchat.com/­wiki/­Morphine/­

Does anyone else have any advice to add?

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hey man, you can do two things, keep taking it or don't take it. I personally don't recommend it because I don't like drugs period. if you feel you need it take it. if you think you can live life yourself then get up off your ass and try at least walking at first. gym are the best, people cant judge you at the gym there is policy's in affect and there is some fitness centers that cost like $5 a month. they might even let you in and show you around, or even work out on the first day, if your feel like your strong enough.

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