Please Read Before Taking Suboxone
UpdatedEvery single day of my life is a living hell. I wake at 3-3:30am. I am cold to my very core. I am nauseous. My head aches. My anxiety is such that thinking of living another day in this condition is intolerable and death is my favorite fantasy, it brings me the only hope I can imagine. Were I not so weak, I would have killed myself long ago. My legs are numb and moving is painful.
I roll out of bed and cut a tiny strip of Suboxone off of my daily regimen to help me cope. My brain is flooded with powerful, addictive drugs. For a time my condition improves leaving only the empty helpless feeling that only the truly dependant know. My life becomes muted. No color, no happiness, no hope. One long string of misery that reaches to the landscape without end. I am worthless and cause nothing but pain and sorrow wherever my footsteps fall. I am a disappointment to those who care about me, and I cannot imagine ever being truly loved by another.
Suboxone has cost me my life. My marriage, my job, my desire to live. All of these things have been robbed of me by a pink strip that dissolves under my tongue.
You would imagine that based upon this that I am abusing the drug, this is not the case. In fact, I take only 1/16th of my prescribed amount. Even this small dose is powerful enough to rob me of everything I love in this life. Everyday situations cause me such anxiety that I hide from the things that make life great. I have left my wife, I don’t see my kids. I can’t hold a job and I pray that each day will be my last.
I have tried to quit taking Suboxone several times and each time I have failed. The extraordinarily long half life of the drug means weeks of withdrawal making the life I have described seem like a sunny walk in the park. Crippling paranoia and soul crushing anxiety are only two of the dozens of symptoms that await each attempt. Anxiety attacks that make me feel as though I’m dying grip my emotions and often feel like what I imagine a heart attack to be like. No breath, a pulse rate over two hundred beats per minute. A feeling of despair so intense that no hell could be comparable. I’m so light headed from the hyperventilation that each second feels like I’m going to lapse into a subconsciousness from which I will not awake, and I hope that to be the case.
I have no hope of breaking free. This is how I live, and how I will eventually die. I cannot go on this way.
More Discussions:
took methadone for 11 days start at 40 milligrams went down to 20 stopped two days ago and started vicodin now I want to...
4 REPLIESIf I take 8mg Suboxone 1 to 3 times a week and have for years and weigh 175lbs and drink a crap load of water!!! How lon...
12 REPLIESI have been on Suboxone since 2007 and it has always done wonders for me I started out on it for Opiate Addiction But am...
28 REPLIESneed to kno if i can take 4mg suboxone ang 50mg phenergan? ## My findings state that there are potentially unsafe intera...
25 REPLIESI have been taking suboxone for closed to three years I started out taking 3 8mg a day and now am taking only one 8mg bu...
11 REPLIESI'v been on Suboxone Film,8mg,for a year. Before switching to film,I was taking subutex tablets,8 mg, 3 years.Every ...
7 REPLIESPLS HELPPP! i was on methadone for 3 years...went from 80mg down to 20mg...then switched to suboxone...been on it for ab...
6 REPLIESI've been taking Tramadol for 14 years and I messed up my dosage by a few days so I thought I was going to be out of...
5 REPLIESI have been on 16 mg of suboxone for almost a month. Last night I took 3 norco 10 mgs at the same time. It has been 15 h...
4 REPLIESI screwed up! I know this and that's why I wanted life back! After 4 years of the same story. Started with Lortab af...
4 REPLIES