Methadone Or Death

Updated

I am 34 years old and a addict. I have been an addict since I was 21 years old. I have always been able to stop using when I wanted until last July when a string of very disturbing events happened in my life leaving me to attempt taking my own life. I jumped off a bridge falling 72 plus feet to the ground and damaging most of my body. I may be alive but i wish I was dead. I am not able to find a doctor who is willing to help me with pain medication with my past and to be honest the only thing that helps me is H. I do not use the H no longer to feel high. I use to be able to move with out pain. Even with high doses of H I still am in massive amounts of pain. I have done a lot of research and I want to get on Methadone for the pain as well as to get away from any other drug. Thing is I live in a small town in Ohio and I am unable to find a clinic. I also have heard that you have to go daily to get the medication and I am not able to drive and have no one to help me get miles away to a clinic daily. If I do not find help and fast I feel that the only hope that I have is taking or trying to take my life again. Please if anyone can help me I would greatly appreciate it.

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1

Hello, Amanda! How are you doing? I"m very sorry about the problems you're having.

Unfortunately, with the addiction issue involved, a general practice physician can't prescribe Methadone for you, that can only be done in a clinical setting by those that are specially trained in its use for such. This is the way it stands under current law, so a clinic is your only option.

This is a narcotic analgesic, so it has the potential to be habit forming and may cause side effects, such as nausea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth and constipation.

Does anyone know of any in Ohio?

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2

I do not mind going to a clinic. The thing is trying to find one. I have called several "clinics" but they all say that it is to get you off the methodone and have a attitude when I even ask about getting on it. I would go completely off of everything if it wasn't for the pain. the pain is terrible and only getting worse. Life just isn't worth living if it is like this. Everything has side effects I just want to be able to be out of the severe pain that I live in. I know that I have done this to myself but I also know that my intentions was to die that night not to be saved for them to do massive surgeries and then just let me live like this. This isn't living its surviving and I am about to give up. If anyone knows of any in Ohio will you please let me know ASAP. I am praying for something anything! Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate anything that anyone has to say.

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3

You've very welcome, Amanda! I just wish I could help more.

Can anyone recommend a good doctor or clinic?

I really do hope you get the help you need, very soon.

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4

methadone300mg

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5

I can honestly say going to the methadone clinic for 22 months saved every part of my life that could be saved. I am thankful I swallowed my pride and looked past the shame and embarrassment I had within myself and basically surrendered and just got the help I needed. The highest dose I was on was on during my time in the clinic was 80 mgs. Which looking back wasn't necessary. Im pretty sure I could have done well at like 50mgs. But thats the addict in me I guess? But anyways I started at 30mgs the first day 40mgs the second day 50mgs the third day then went up 5 mgs each week until I felt little to no withdrawals for a full 24 hrs after the last dose. I stopped at 80mgs which was not necessary for real its just the addiction talking like "if im not high with energy and feeling super then that means I was in withdrawal" not the case, I just wasn't high. Which is OKAY!! It took me awhile to get that through my head. I wasn't here for help to feel high, i was there to get well again and to get off pain pills and live a healthy happy life like I once did! To make a long story short I stayed at 80 mgs for about 3 months then began to taper off by 2mgs a week until I got to about 30mgs then 2 mgs every other week until I got to about 10mgs then down 1mgs each week until I got the whole way down to 1mg stayed on that for 1week then got discharged. And honestly I didnt miss any work, I wasn't sick, I felt fine really the only part I struggled with was I didnt have the energy I was used to. But once again I had to tell myself this is not withdraw, I have no energy because im just not high as hell. Im feeling tired after a long day of work like all the other sober people around me. I used to have that crazy energy because I was high on pills and thats the only reason. I have been out of clinic and clean since February 2015. There are still days I have thoughts of using or even dreams about it. But those urges will pass if you can get your mind off of it by reading a magazine, doing a puzzle, going for a walk with your children and thinking back of when doing any of those simplethings seemed completely out of the question if you were sick from withdrawal and I promise if u think of your lowest point in your addiction and get past that urge that will be enough to keep u strong and not go back to the evil drugs that burned your life to the ground. God's blessings to all of us that have suffered or still are suffering from the addiction that has haunted our lives and took us away from our families, friends, and special times that we can never get back. But the only thing we can do is forgive ourselves for the pain we caused ourselves and others, ask our loved ones to forgive us, and move forward close the painful chapter and start a new one. And be thankful we are still alive and can make a new start because we are all worth it! But you have to believe that you are worth it! Overcoming addiction will be the hardest thing to overcome in your life I will say that but it is possible if your want to be clean is priority! Many prayers to all of you and best wishes.

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