Low Dose Hydromorphone Withdrawals

Hello, first post here, I'm a 19 year old male, I've been doing opiates for a little over two years now, by illegitimate ways, I do have a herniated disc (L4-L5) and a pinched nerve root in my left leg, over the course of the two years I have gone up and down in dosages, ranging from 30mgs a day to now 4-12mgs a day. I have been snorting the medication though. I'm at a point in my life where I want to leave this problem behind and move on with my life, but for some reason there is something holding me back from accomplishing it. My withdrawals are minimal at most, minor discomfort, foggy head and teary eyes, I mostly have problems with the mental aspect of it. I have always had issues with my mood, and opiates seemed to help regulate it, and its been so long since Ive been sober that I'm scared to live without it, even though I know if I dont stop I will loose everything I hold dear. I have a girlfriend thats been with me through the whole thing, always been supportive, but now is at a point where there is nothing left for her to do. I know its all up to me, and Ive begun to accept that. I havent told my doctor because family and friends have said if i ever do need opiates for legitimate needs I will be denied because of this, and with the condition of my back and family history this also scares me. I have tried to withdrawal on my own, I made it a little over 24 hours and gave in and took 4 mgs. My withdrawals as said before are minimal, I have an incredibly hard time dealing with the cravings and feeling of hopelessness and that I NEED them, more then want. So I have a few questions about how I can minimize the effects of withdrawal, and finally make a last push through to sobriety. I have access to 4mgs a day, half of an 8mg each day. I have been taking it all at once, leaving the last 12 hours of my day to be in withdrawal again. The thing is I'm in withdrawal almost every day, but I havent been able to go that extra mile and make it through the 3 day w/d, my question is should i talk to my doctor? I know that i do not need methadone or subtex, as it would do more harm then good. Ive heard about quit kits at walk in clinics, but I have never got one. So if theres anyone out there that has been through a similar predicament, any and all input is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

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With the mental effects that you suffer from, I really think the best help you'd get would be from seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist.

They are specially trained to help you deal with such things and they know what other non-opiate medications can be used to help get you over those hurdles.

Learn more substance dependence details here.

Since you don't use high amounts and abuse them, no regular addiction clinic would take you on as a patient.

However, for this mild dependence there is a lot of help available and not, it won't get you labeled as an addict, because it is not the same thing.

I used to be on pain management and was taking very high doses of narcotics, but stopped cold turkey. However, due to the fear of getting dependent again, I am always honest with new doctors and I am very careful about what I will take and how much. They are also very accommodating and will usually make sure to prescribe something that I know will work for me, but always in the lowest possible dose, since we can go up from there if it doesn't handle my pain, but none of it has ever gotten me labeled as an addict in my records.

Just be honest and ask for the help you need to get over these issues, it will likely be much easier than you think.

Are there any other questions or comments?

Does anyone else have any advice to offer?

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Do I need a recommendation to see a psychiatrist? That I have talked to my doctor about before, mood swings, angry out birsts and depressive states, but because I have a poor diet and don't excersse much he attributed it to that. And this was years before I started onto opiates, it was sort of brushed off. I saw someone who I think was a physiatrist for a week or so but every time I mentioned drugs or that I had tried this or do this she would say that's why, even if the event and use time was wildly apart. There are some things I know I do need to talk about, and that could be a root or cause for my addiction. I have one other question though, with prior phyciatric problems will it make paws or depression from quitting worse?

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